Fucking asshole.

Go Sens.

(Defaced Pronger photo idea from CinO, LOLcats pidgin from I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? Enduring pain by Lauren)

Play-by-play call: "Waaaaahhhhhhh!"

I hope the demolition of the Buffalo Sabres makes Rick Jeanneret cry.

Friday funtime follies!!!1!!

Hey everybody! It's a baby fighting a cobra!



Have a great weekend!

This is the thrilling conversation you've been waiting for.

Going to Mexico was never high on my list of things to do before I die (heat? poverty? fat, disgusting Canadians lugging their Tim Horton's travel mugs to the cabana bar for maragritas? Sign me up!), but the recent flurry of attacks on tourists has made sunny Meh-hee-co sound about as appealling as a weekender in Baghdad. Then again, given what I know about the kind of people who choose Mexico over other infinitely more interesting travel destinations, maybe this is Darwinism in action.

Otherwise...fuck, I'm, at a loss for shit to write about of late. Pop culture? "Man that new Spideyman movie looks like a piece of garbage, eh? How about that Lohan? What a coked-up tramp!" Music? "Wow Coachella looked wicked. Man, I would have killed to see Rage Against The Machine continue to pad their bank accounts by peddling their bullshit pseudo-Marxist ideology to sunburned frat dudes. Yeah! 'Fuck you I won't do what you tell me...dad!'" Politics? "Man that clown George Dubya did it again. What a clown."

Could be worse, I suppose. Having nothing to say is far, far better than writing about, say, your feelings, your trivial little hobbies, or your medical problems. I'll take being beaten into a state of near-catatonia by the relentlessly deadening banality of my joyless, insipid life, thank you very much. Beats being beaten by Mexicans.

Creeping/creepy

Ew.

Brings all the boys to the yard.

Lest my last post give people the impression the internet is dumb, let me say that the 'nets is a treasure trove of really good shit. Without it, I never would have learned this:

Grimace's "official" role, according to McDonald's, continues to be representative of the chain's milkshakes. However, he does this out of love for the taste, and not because he is in any way a shake-based creature himself.

Give it up for the Information Superhighway!

I have urges in my arenas.

Arguing with people on the internet is a lot like the old expresion about putting pants on a pig: you just get muddy and the pig gets mad.

But the great hockey arena "debate" (to sum it up, the guys who own the Oilers want a new arena so they can make money and they've been using their house organ, the Edmonton Journal, to flog the populace into supporting a (inevitably) taxpayer-funded arena, likely to be situated downtown) has brought out the best in the hoser fanboys in the online Oilers-centric hockey community. To hear them tell it, downtown is a disgusting wasteland that is also awash in new development and opportunities; a new downtown "arena complex" would be just the bold, visionary project to spur development and economic growth. Basically. I think this bit from a post on HFBoards pretty much sums up the consensus view of the project:

People in this city are desperate for things to do and the current city structure really doesn't reflect the younger set of this city at all. You build a nice area in downtown with outdoor/indoor cafes, a promenade, maybe a stage theater for shows, some select retail space, a hockey arena, a high end hotel, and yes, a casino, and people will come out and support it. And you're getting additional revune {sic} streams and private investment to boot.

Got that? We're not talking about a mere rinky-dink 20,000 seat hockey rink, buddy. We're talking about a goddamn total entertainment experience! Theatres! Retail! A casino! And a hotel to house all high rollers! If the concept of bringing all these things together under one roof rings any bells for anyone, it should:

West Edmonton Mall (WEM), located in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada is the largest shopping mall in North America and fourth largest in the world.

It would be one thing if that was simply the plan as envisioned by some kid in his Millwoods basement. But that same scheme is also being trotted out by allegedly "in-the-know" members of the local EmEssEm:

...the ground level will involve retail space, restaurants, maybe some recreational or entertainment facilities, as well as a hotel.

I dunno about you, but that still spells M-A-L-L to me. That's right. The bold, revolutionary, new-paradigm establishing, out-of-the-box plan for Edmonton's new hockey rink-nay!-Edmonton's crown jewel is a mall. Kinda like the giant one we have. But downtown. But not like the current downtown mall. No sir. This would have more stuff.

Now, if I was so inclined, I would argue building a mall is decidedly not revolutionary urban design. In fact, it's positively old school. I could also point out examples of cities that have built livable neighbourhoods in their downtowns that are totally unencumbered by temples to the twin North American gods of shopping and pro sports. But I won't.

I'm just going to move.

Oh yeah: last night I had a scary ass dream where I was being chased down the street I grew up on by a gigantic, slobbering, savage, befang'd wolf/dog creature. Then I woke up and had to go to work. Interpret that how you will.