Show, don't tell.

This is great. A single photo has saved me from wasting time attempting to suss out whether a band is any good.

The picture:



See? I could have gone off on this band (apparently they are called "Man Man" and based on the evidence here, they suck an unbelievably huge amount of sweaty donkey cock) and their stupid outfits dripping with hipster irony (note the headband). I could have ranted about the presence of two of the worst musical instruments known to man on the same stage (that's the accordion and saxophone for the uninitiated). But without photographic evidence, any attempt to describe this back alley musical abortion would have fallen well short. Add the photo, though, and any written argument is instantly rendered redundant. After all, what’s the point of reading about how much a band sucks when you can assess that from a 3 second glance at a photo?

I don’t even have to listen to them now! Thanks P-Fork! And fuck you for hyping these assholes!

Newsflash

European hipsters just as stupid and douchey as their North American brethren. Shit like this is what makes me wanna cheer for the terrorists.

Yeah, that about sums it up.

The Mideast Crisis Explained

Sofa scenes

(Watching Alphaville)

Me: They're losing me with this crazy semantics crap.
The GF: Really? I could hold my own in a talk about semantics.
Me: That's a conversation we are never going to have.

Dear Chicken Man

I know you only get paid like eight bucks an hour, and I know you work in a shitty ass basement food court all day. But would it kill you to not dump my French fries into the bag upside down so that they all spill out and stain the paper with grease, reminding me of the crappiness of the bounty which I am about to receive? Don't you fuckers have some kind of system for packing Big Crunch Combos, or did my choice of gravy in lieu of beverage throw your whole world into turmoil, rendering you incapable of practicing proper French fry orientation techniques? I don't know what it is with KFC, but they have some of the worst customer service/quality control standards in fast food (hint: lettuce is supposed to be green, not brown, and if the best you can manage is four wilted chunks of turd coloured iceberg, you might as well just dispense with whatever pretense of healthy snacking you're attempting there and give me the extra mayo instead.) You'd never catch the automatons at McDonald's dumping a dude's fries. They'd probably get beaten for that shit.

Beat surrender?

National Review Online wanker John Podhoretz asks the oh-so-clever question:

Instead of playing the (World Cup Final) match and losing, why didn't France simply surrender the way it always does?

Really, J-Pod? Always? I wonder, does anybody who brings out the "surrender monkeys" slur even know fuck all about France's history? Because I'm hard pressed to come up with an example of French cowardice. In World War One, France held out alone against Germany in the early stages of the war and held on for four years of the bloodiest combat the world has ever seen, with 11 per cent of its entire population being killed or wounded. In World war 2, France was quickly overwhelmed by a far superior fighting force, one that bulldozed its way across all of Europe. True, France didn't do so well against the Vietnamese Communists, but we also know how that turned out for Pod-boy's U.S.A. And France also had a small problem with an Arab insurgency in Algeria, but I'm hard pressed to come up with any parallels in American history. Suggestions?

One should also note the France’s assistance was vital in allowing the American Revolution to succeed. France covertly supplied Washington with arms and ammunition and joined the war in 1778. It was the French blockade of Yorktown that prevented the British from receiving reinforcements and it was a combined Franco-American force that forced the surrender of the British garrison in that climactic battle.

If there's a country that deserves the reputation for giving up, it’s Italy. In the First World War, Italy sat on the fence in the early stages despite overtures from the Triple Alliance. Then, when things started going well for the Allies, Italy threw their lot in with the eventual victors in a brilliant display of historical opportunism. In World War Two, of course, Italy started the game on the side of the Nazis, but surrendered when the Allies took Sicily and threatened the mainland.

So, to make a long story short, the antipathy so many wingnuts hold against France as a result of the French government’s refusal to support the Iraq invasion is rooted firmly in ignorance. What a surprise.

Hell just got a little more crowded.

Lights out for Kenny-boy.

Enron Corp. founder and chief executive Ken Lay, who was convicted in May for his role in the in the Houston-based company's downfall, died of a heart attack on Wednesday at his vacation home in Colorado.