What's up with this shit right here?

I hate my work computer. Bitch won't play Flash, so I can't watch a good chunk of the sublimely awesome stuff on Homestarrunner.com. It also occasionally refuses to display images (which sucks when you're trying to scope out new picks of Britney Spears or something) and, worst of all, the fucking sound keeps cutting out on my fucking Windows Media Player, leaving me rockless.

Windows and PC's suck ass, y'all. And Bill Gates can eat a bowl of dicks.

How the mighty have fallen.

Okay, you'd be hard-pressed to find a bigger fan of The Simpsons than yours truly, but it seems they're really slipping. Used to be The Simpsons were the highlight of Sunday night, one last hearty guffaw before the work week sunk its talons of despair into you. Now, it's a victory for the show to elicit so much as a chuckle. The writing is flat and uninspired, the gags clunky and the set-ups just ridiculous. Take yesterday's "Simpsons go to London" episode (the latest in a series of "The Simpsons go overseas and wackiness ensues" episodes, most of which, quite frankly, blow). The episode hinges on Bart finding a $1,000 bill which blows through an open window. Trouble is, the set-up was shamelessly ganked from an earlier episode (the classic "Junior Campers" 'sode from back in the day, where Bart and Milhouse find $20 that is blown out of the Simpsons' window). Later, they reduce themselves to pointless and not-funny celeb cameos (JK Rowling and a squandered Sir Ian McClellan) and, worst of all, biting gags from National Lampoon's European vacation. Nosirree, the once-mighty juggernaut of laughter that was the Simpsons is no more. I sure hope they put it out of its misery soon so we can look back with fondness instead of disappointment.

Got the Monday morning blues again.

So I think I'm getting sick (my lymph nodes are like golf balls today), work is boring and I've got four more days of this horseshit before the weekend. Fuck Mondays, man. Fuck 'em all.

The kid is not my son...

...he's my lover!

There's my obligatory Michael Jackson joke. Now fuck off.

Tell us a story, I know you're not boring...

See what happens when you go out drinking on Tuesday? You wind up with posts like these on Wednesday.

Adventures with income:

The Shins-"Chutes Too Narrow":$17.99
The Strokes-"Room On Fire": $14.79
The Stills-"Logic Will Break Your Heart":$11.79
Medal of Honor: Rising Sun (PS2)- $54.99

Yay!

In the meantime, Brit music magazine Q has shit the credibility bed with its 1,001 greatest songs of all time.

See the Top 100 here.

Eminem twice in the top 20? Enrique Inglasias' "Hero" above Marvin Gaye's "What's Going On"? No Ramones?
The motherfucking Darkness in at #53? I think I need to lie down...

Get Your War On is still the funniest shit ever.

But this totally fucked up German safety video is close.

Ya know, these guys might be onto something.

Fuck this...

She don't lie, she don't lie....

The UK's The SUN tells of a a sex drug you can snort.

My question is: what's wrong with good, old-fashioned cocaine?

Matrix: Unloaded

Saw the final installment of the Matrix trilogy yesterday afternoon. Whoever gave the Wachowskis (sp?) the billions to make this piece of dog shit should be strung up by the liver. I'll spare all the gory details, but suffice it to say that "Matrix: Revolutions" makes absolutuely no fucking sense whatsoever and will leave you puzzled and annoyed. Save yer money for the "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" extended edition DVD which drops next week.

Oh, baby...

In the meantime, to recap the last couple of weekes (since I've been woefully negligent in updating this mofo) there's been an awful lot of drinkin' dancin', smokin' and various shenanigans going on (albeit nothing too juicy-like). Buenos tiempos.