The first step for recovering scenesters is to admit everyone else has a problem.

Everybody who went nuts for the Shout Out Out Out Out/Chromeo show last night proved once more that the kids in this town don't know shit from bad chocolate. The Shout Outs reception was especially baffling, but I guess annoyingly repetitve electro jams are all the rage these days. I overheard one of the shows promoters outside the bar saying that all the kids want is to see the Rapture here in a small room, which shows my oft made declaration that Edmonton is a year behind the curve was off by at least three years. Which mean sthat in 2008 or so, the kids wil be clamouring to here a bunch of local bands doing half-assed impressions of the Jam, Wire and The Fall.

Maybe I should make myself clear: I hate this town and I hate all its annoying little fucking scensters with their stupid fucking outfits and downy "ironic" moustasches. I hate their cliquishness, I hate their attitudes and I hate their lemming-like tendancy to regard every shitty trend to come along as the greatest thing ever and themselves as some kind of daring pioneer for wearing short shorts and a headband (here's a tip sweetheart: if you are gonna dress like a '80s aerobics instructor, it helps to have the body of someone who at least excerisices once in a while.) I hate the disgisting displays of mutual masturbation in the pages of the local papers and in the bars. Honestly, if I didn't have some kind of investment in
the scene, I'd bail out, spend my time at home watching movies or reading and only heading out for the odd pint.

I really wish there was something positive to report on. But there is not.

No clever caption

Look, girls: the boho chic thing was bad in that it made you all look fucking pregnant, but the cowboy boots and short shorts shit is somehow even worse. Someone needs to bullet in that trend's head, and fast.

(Fortunately, given our place behind the curve here, once a trend rolls up in our town, it's only a matter of weeks, if not hours, before its officially tits up everywhere else. So, yeah.)

Help yourself.

It's all
here.

Ends and Means: now with extra racism!

S Korea unveils first dog clone

But do they taste as good as the originals?