I've been seeing a lot of hula hoops lately. I first spotted them on the ferry to Vancouver Island a couple of weeks ago and later saw some hiptards carrying them around Vancouver proper. Then, on Saturday night, I saw some dirty hippies hula-hooping their brains out in the parking lot next to the Black Dog. I'm wondering: is it all a coincidence, or are hula hoops, like, the new hipster "thing?" If the latter, can we nip this in the bud right now, please? I'm a pretty angry guy as it is; you dinks aren't making my life any easier with your stupid shenanigans. Just do me a favour and fucking cut it out, alright? Put down the hula hoop, the oversized glasses, the big ball cap, the headband, the bin Laden neckerchief, the gold lamé tights and grow up already. Oh yeah: and wash your hair, you look like something the cat threw up.
Christ. I need a nap.
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