Hey man, you've got the real bum's eye for clothes.

I'm very puzzled by the new trend among mainly young females to dress like dirty fucking homeless people. The other day I was looking for some new shoes at the local overpriced hip shoe boutique and noticed everyone working there looked like they hadn't changed clothes or showered for a solid week. Then, late night, I was out for a couple of pints and a platoon of teenaged girls trooped in, all decked out in their best bag lady outfits, including badly torn jeans, oversize sweatshirts, greasy hair and sunken eyes. One was wearing fucking ludicrous Sally Jessy Raphael spectacles.

As hapens so often with these things, someone else got there firstest with the mostest.

There is a crisis no one is talking about, an inconvenient fashion truth. Hipsters have been mining vintage shops, thrift stores and resale outlets, tapping the ’80s vein at an alarming rate. If the trend continues, there will be no skinny jeans, no Care Bear T-shirts or even pastel bangles left in our lifetime.

They have their solution....

But there is hope for our ’80s fashion supply. To save it and leave some for our children, we need to do something drastic. We’re not saying we should all stop looking ugly, we just need to get our ugly from an alternative trend source. We need to bring back... grunge.

I have mine.