Dear Chicken Man

I know you only get paid like eight bucks an hour, and I know you work in a shitty ass basement food court all day. But would it kill you to not dump my French fries into the bag upside down so that they all spill out and stain the paper with grease, reminding me of the crappiness of the bounty which I am about to receive? Don't you fuckers have some kind of system for packing Big Crunch Combos, or did my choice of gravy in lieu of beverage throw your whole world into turmoil, rendering you incapable of practicing proper French fry orientation techniques? I don't know what it is with KFC, but they have some of the worst customer service/quality control standards in fast food (hint: lettuce is supposed to be green, not brown, and if the best you can manage is four wilted chunks of turd coloured iceberg, you might as well just dispense with whatever pretense of healthy snacking you're attempting there and give me the extra mayo instead.) You'd never catch the automatons at McDonald's dumping a dude's fries. They'd probably get beaten for that shit.