I am contemplating buying Chrismukkah gifts, but I don't know if any of the ingrates I know deserve anything short of an ass-kicking. I know I should probably be beaten up this year. This whole holiday business is a big fucking scam anyway: one month (give or take) of forced good-will, which does nothing but make the hypocricy of the other 11 months even more rank and the abuses we commit against our fellow man on a daily basis even more egregious. "Over there" they're eating dust and cockroach shit while we grow fat and stupid. And what have we done to deserve any of this? Fuck all. We fluked out is all. So the next time you agonize over Christmas presents, bitch about the lack of convenient parking spaces at the mall or lament having to spend time with your (no doubt) execrable relatives, think about those other folks whose day-to-day "to-do" list is usually topped by "not fucking die".
Jesus. This wasn't going to be a manifesto, but a guy can only take so many Wal-Mart commercials and smug jingoism in a day before something inside snaps. That also means it's time to just go home.
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